Faceless (1987, Jess Franco)

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Faceless (1987, Jess Franco)

Ah, Christmas. The season of goodwill, peace on earth, and diabolical Nazi doctors performing human face transplants.

It can mean but one thing – it’s a Jess Franco Christmas movie.

Okay, so it’s barely a Christmas movie, but look here –

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No, not at the boobs, to the left – a Christmas tree! They do reference the season of bankruptcy and consumerism a few times, and it all ends with a jolly soiree on New Years Eve, so I am officially declaring Faceless a Christmas film, alongside Home Alone and Muppet Christmas Carol.

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Faceless is another of Franco’s remakes of the French horror classic Eyes Without a Face, a film he first, ummm, adapted in 1962, as The Awful Dr Orloff. 25 years later and he’s at it again, even featuring a cameo from Orloff, played by the same actor, good old Howard Vernon.

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Faceless is that most rare and precious of commodities – Uncle Jess working with a big budget and real actors. Franco haters can breathe a sigh of relief (or perhaps disbelief), as Franco rises to the challenge and delivers a professional, well made movie that also features all his trademarks and obsessions.

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The lead role sadly falls to the worst actor in the cast, Christopher (son of Robert) Mitchum, a man so wooden he can’t even smile like a real person.

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What the fuck is that even meant to be?

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Crikey, even the corpse is more convincing. Luckily, the film is stolen at every turn by the wonderful Brigitte Lahaie, former porn actress and Jean Rollin muse.

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Whether stabbing a needle into someone’s eye, seducing a famous actress into a three-way or running a respectable health clinic, Brigitte is always on hand to grab Faceless by the collar and drag it out of the doldrums, should the need arise.

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There’s enough gore and yes, even story here to satisfy non-Franco fans. So in the spirit of giving, here’s my Christmas gift to you all – a hearty recommendation of Faceless.

What, you want more? No problem. Here’s the theme tune, which plays at least once every ten minutes.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

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2 Responses to Faceless (1987, Jess Franco)

  1. lysette says:

    Lol! That’s all I’ve got. I love Jess Franco.

    Like

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